Jealousy, Friendship or Love?
by Time Waster
Summary: Matt is unloved and confused. What does he find out? Taito........ J'ai Fini! ^_^ A little cruddy but I dun care!
1. The Beginning

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Taito_obsession: Don't own digimon! I kind of added stuff to first chapter. Read…

Chapter 1: The beginning

Jealousy, friendship or love?

Humph, who would of thought it ne? The Crest of Friendship. More like the Crest of jealousy, the way I have been carrying on. Let me back up a little a bit. It all started at summer camp well maybe before that…

******************Flash back***********************

"Matt I'm afraid I have bad news for you. Your father and I are going to have a divorce… I know this will be upsetting for you but we have…" my mother Nancy was interrupted by me wailing.

"No. N-no y-you c-cant do that!" I managed to bellow.

Then my mother started to explain, "Me and your father have our differences and that is what we have decided. We have also decided for your brother to live with me and you to live with your father."

"You can't do that either!" I was full of anger. I hated my mum for this it was all her fault.

"Matt please accept it" she said her azure eyes filled with tears. We hugged each other goodbye. She went into the car and I waved mum and Takeru off. My eyes full of tears too.

**************End of flash back*********************

After that day, I hardly ever them much anymore. My mum kept well away from me and she never let me see my own brother. I really do despise her she has caused me so mush pain and loneliness that I so wished would go away and I could be happy again.

I was always alone. My dad Malcolm worked all day from early hours and did not finish to late at night. What great parents I have! They are both as bad as each other. Typical isn't it. I was always alone. I didn't have any friends and got the crest of bloody friendship. How did that happen? 

At least I have learnt something through my horrid life. I have learnt to trust no one. The only person I can rely on is myself. Nobody else just me.

_________Beginning of the summer holidays_________

It is the begging of summer. Oh how nice I can cry in self-pity on my own again in my hellhole that I call 'home'? However something changed this summer as my father confronted me one day and made it clear that I was off to a summer camp! You know a place for little sad kids to run around and scream their heads off. Playing with all their new friends, but you now what I don't want any friends.

They just give you grief and soon tear you apart in the end. Friends, HA that word makes me laugh. Nobody knows what that word really means. You cannot trust anybody not even a mother or father, and friendship is about trust and I don't have any of that! So what is their any use of me going to summer camp? You gotta be joking! He can't make me go there. He made up such a stupid excuse too!

********************Flash back*********************

I was in my room doing homework, sitting there biting the end of my pencil trying to work out a mathematical formula for some equation. It was about twelve-ish until my slowly opened the creaky door and peered his head through to see if I were awake. 

I suspect he just got back from work or something. He walked in a sat on the edge of my bed and I knew he was going to have a go at one of those 'dad to son' conversations!

I put the tedious green math's book on the floor and crossed my arms to see what he wanted.

"Matt we need to talk" he said sternly.

"Yeah whatever" I muttered. Talk? Yeah right that'll be the day! The last time we had a 'talk' it was more like a fight! Anyway why would he waste his time I knew he hated me.

"I'm being serious!" he shouted angrily at me in the face.

"Well you never made an effort to do that in the last six years *DAD*!" I shouted back putting more of a sarcastic tone in the last word that I said. I was so angry with him. Why should I talk to him? He hadn't made the effort.

"Don't you talk to me like that! You have no right! I am your father for crying out loud!" he shouted at me again. My father raised his fists into the air. Talk to him like what?

I snorted "No right! You're talking the fucking same way!" I yelled.

"How dare you?" he said in shock. He walked over to me with all the anger in the world in his eyes. That was it here comes the beating. I would always get a punch or two if I answered back to him or even tried to prove him wrong. My guess was, was that the reason he punched me because he knew I was right. 

My so-called father punched me in the cheekbone, causing me to jolt back and hit my head against the headboard.

"Aaaarrraaahhh!" I whimpered as I rubbed my sore jaw.

"Now you listen to me boy! All I wanted to say was is that you were going to summer camp!" he yelled as he began to walk away towards the door. What? No way.

I suddenly became a bit too big head and thought it was clever to remark some sly comment. "Yeah! To get me out of the way even though you don't hardly ever see me to begin with!" I retorted.

"NO! I thought you could make friends that is all," my dad said in a stern voice again. Friends you make me laugh. What would I want with friends?

"Ha. Yeah right." I sarcastically said, with a smirk spreading across my face.

"I've had enough of this!" My father muttered as he slammed the door behind him.

*****************End of flash back******************

In the end after a couple of yells and a couple of kicks, and a couple of punches, my dad got me to this shit hole. You know how? I finally gave up and surrendered to him, as I couldn't stand getting hurt again. Now I have a black eye cuts and is bruised all over my body. It ached were ever I walked and I could barely sit down without whimpering under my breath in pain. 

In fact when I got to this stupid place, it wasn't all that bad as I had a little surprise when I got there. Takeru was there. 

I was so happy to see my brother. I hadn't seen him for a very long time. I hugged him and then he greeted me to his new mates. Thank god, he didn't notice my bruises. I didn't want him to get worried. He would then start asking questions and if I didn't tell him he would guilt trip me into it by saying he was really worried. 

I guess this place beat being at home. You were out in the fresh air you could do fuck all and just laze around doing nothing! Like doing the dinner for my dad! Washing up after my dad! Being in the same house with dad!

So, as I didn't have anything else to do I hanged around with my little bro'. I was happy enough just to watch Takeru play with his friends in the nice hot sunshine. So I just lay back enjoyed the sun and the laughing my brother and his friends made as they played tug oh war. 

There I was lying on the grass minding my business, until I got this tap on my shoulder. I turned my head slightly to see who it was, to see this strange boy with massive, messy brown hair. He wore a blue T-shirt with stars on the sleeves and brown combat shorts. He looked a little weird as he has goggles on his head. He smiled at me and I looked at him blankly thinking nothing of him. I guess I'll just have to tell him how to go away somehow without him running off crying like all the other losers in this joint!

********************Flash back*********************

"Hiya, my name is Taichi Kamiya, but you can call me Tai" he said happily greeting me with a goofy smiling from ear to ear. I did wish he would go away and leave me alone. I am not cut out to be in this situation right now.

"Hi" I grumbled. Not really interested into making a friend.

"What is your name?" he asked as he sat beside me.

"Matt" I stated up looking up at him. He leant over me and I could see his eyes looked worried as he looked at my black eye and the rest of my wounds. Next thing I knew he was staring at my arms. I wouldn't be surprised they weren't that hard to 'not' notice. 

"How did you get all those bruises? They are pretty bad" he questioned with a worried expression, looking skeptical at the same time.

"It's none of your business!" I spat at him. Who does he think he is? Butting into other peoples lives, for goodness sake. I decided to make up some lame excuse to make myself look big. "If you really wanna know I was in a fight!" I flashed him a dirty look and then looked at the clouds.

Whatever I said made him scared or something. "Maybe I should go," said Taichi. He got up and left. As he made up a lame excuse likes me and scooted off like a fire spark.

***************End of flash back********************

Not shortly after my encounter with Taichi the bright sun hid behind a cloud. I didn't think anything of it and closed my eyes. I strong gust of wind hit me. I hugged myself trying to keep myself warm. That was kind of unusual, for most of the day there was not one single light breeze. 

My hair tickled my face as it blew about in the wind. I reopened my eyes not expecting to see what I saw. The sky was now a dark blue as if it was midnight. Strange... Then from nowhere a light beam hit me it blinded my eyes. I sat up shielding my eyes from the brightness. What the hell was going on? That was my last thought, until my mind slipped into unconsciousness.

To be continued…

What will happen next? Find out on the next chapter…


	2. The arrival

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Taito_obsession: Why do we have to do a disclaimer evryone knows I don't own digimon. *shrugs*Nevermind… I don't own digimon.

Chapter 2: The arrival

Jealousy, Friendship or Love?

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After I awoken from that strange encounter at summer camp I noticed that I was not in summer camp any longer. I was somewhere else? In some kind of forest. Tress surrounded me as I lay under a tree blocking the sunlight for me. However it wasn't just the tree that was blocking the sunlight either it was also a bunch of kids.

*****************Flash back************************

I groaned with a confused expression across my face. 

"Are you okay?" said a voice. I looked to where the voice was coming from to see a girl with brown, chestnut hair looking at me. She didn't have much dress sense you should have seen the hat she was wearing!

"Yeah, I guess," I said while rubbing my eyes. Then to realize six people were around me. I recognized two of them. Takeru my brother, and Tai who I scared off before the incident.

"Are you sure? You've got a load of bruises. From this weird journey. If you would like to call it," said a boy with blue hair and glasses.

"Enough with the questions all ready!" I snapped. What was it with these guys? Are they obsessed with me or something?

"Don't need to bite my head off" mumbled the boy with the glasses.

"Who are all of you anyway?" I asked I didn't want to cause a fight with a boy I didn't even know.

"Oh right I'm Sora"

"I'm Joe"

"I'm Izzy"

"I'm Mimi"

"I'm Tai, we have already met haven't we?"

"Yeah" I said sounding rather resentful. I have to be stuck with doofus!

"And I'm your brother!" shouted T.k as he jumped on me. I smiled; soon regretting it as my jaw began to ache. I held TK with one arm and the other with my jaw. My face was afflicted a sign of pain a little.

I cuddled him. I then noticed Tai looking at me worriedly I just glared at him.

"Hello Matt!" I heard it didn't sound like one of the kids.

"What the?" I then turned to look at this creature staring at me with a horn sticking out of his head. "What are you?" I asked in confusing as TK got off me.

"I'm a Digimon!" the creature shouted while jumping on my lap just like TK had done. Except I never smiled or hugged it in return.

"Huh? You talk?" I said now very puzzled.

"Yep, I am Gabumon your Digimon!"

"I'm Palmon"

"I'm Tentomon"

"I'm Biyomon"

"I'm Gommamon"

"I'm Patamon"

"I'm Agumon"

  
"My Digimon?" I questioned to no one in particular. There were more than just one of these things there was five more!

This guy Izzy then started to talk to me. "Well while you was kinda unconscious we found out a lot of information about this weird place. Firstly it's called the Digital world and creatures that live here are called Digimon. These Digimon here belong with one of us humans"

"Okay enough with the info Iz" I said now getting bored with his voice. Not mentioning all the confusion. 

***************End of flash back********************

Later Taichi confronted me while we were setting up camp to go to sleep. We were setting camp in a cave. I ached all over and was really tired.

******************Flash back***********************

"Matt come here a minute I need to talk to you" whispered Tai in my ear, as he grabbed my arm and pulled me over to a far corner in the cave.

"Okay" I said allowed, while Tai lead me away into a shadowy place of the cave. "What do you want Tai?" I asked cautiously.

"I know those bruises weren't from our journey to the Digital world." He whispered in my ear.

I gasped slightly. Does he know about it? If he does what is he going to do? I looked down and got interested at staring at a small rock.

"How did you get them Yamato? I need to know." he stated his concern eyes looking at the bruises on my arms.

"You don't need to fucking know!" I spat with anger. Why should he know? Its my business not his besides I hardly know him.

"Yeah?" he bellowed.

"Yeah!" I reassured him. Then without thinking I punched him in the face.

"You are going to pay for that!" he threatened. Tai then swayed his arm and punched me right in the stomach. 

I whined. That hurt so much. That was the place where my dad was kicking me repeatedly. I crouched down to the floor. Panting heavily from the excruciating pain. 

"The pain" I managed to gasp. I just about saw Tai standing there in shock as I was squinting, black dots in my vision.

"I'm sorry man, I did not mean to hurt you so badly, I was…" Tai trailed off. Instead, he knelt down beside me. I was holding my stomach. He took my hands away. "Let me look at that" he said quietly.

"NO!" I said sharply.

"Matt what is wrong with you?" Tai asked. I went weak. Tai moved my hands away again. He lifted up my jumper.

"Oh my god Matt!" he whispered in shock. "Where did all these cuts and bruises come from?"

"Um, from nowhere" I stuttered. Shit now he is gonna tell everyone.

Matt?" he questioned.

"I said from nowhere!" I yelled. Tears were welling up in my eyes. I didn't want anyone to see me cry. I had my pride to think of. So I got up and ran.

****************End of flash back*******************

It has always been this way I fought with Tai and then I ran off somewhere. The only thing that bugged me was that every time we fought the gang would always be on Tai's side accept for TK. Well obviously because he was my brother. They would always think it was my fault. I don't really know why I picked fights with Tai, I just do. I guess I just do not like him. Out of the whole group, the only person I really talked to was my brother. I don't like mixing with people you see. It wasn't like I didn't want to. There just those… oh forget it. If I did make friends, I wouldn't be able to trust them. So there you go.


	3. The Fight

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Taito_obsession: this chapter is now in the present!! I cannot believe I wrote this part so fast!! ^__^ 

I don't think is a Taito yet but it's leading up to it! Thanks you people for reviewing it always inspires me to write. If you have not reviewed, yet please do! Oh yeah Becci 'D' helped me out a **little** on this chapter. 

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Disclaimer: I hate writing these stupid things it gets on my nerves. Might as well get over and done with. I do not own digimon!! I own this story though. Do not sue me!!

Chapter 3: The fight

Jealousy, Friendship or Love?

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Right now, guess what I am doing? I am hiking in the fucking woods. With a bunch of people, I try not to make friends with. Especially that Tai. The digital world is so boring. I want to go home and get away from Tai. I haven't a clue were we are heading but I'm trailing behind as always.

-------------------------Present day--------------------------

"Tai where are we going?" said Mimi in a horrible shriek. 

"Yeah Tai" I retorted. I wanted to pick a fight with him, bored I suppose. 

"Err haven't a clue" he stuttered. Hmm suppose he does not wanna fight then. Oh well.

"Maybe we should take a rest" suggested the asshole Taichi.

"Yes. Tai finally sees sense!" I said sarcastically. I bet he will fight me now.

"Well if you're so clever! Why don't you become leader?" shouted Tai. I love getting him annoyed.

"Maybe I will" I sniggered. Even though, I didn't really.

"Why do you always have to argue with every little thing!?" demanded Tai.

"Maybe because your such an asshole!" I shouted at Tai. That got him really mad. I could see in his eyes. 

"I've had it with you!" Tai shouted as he lunged at me with full strength. I fell to the ground with a painful thud as Tai began punching me. I swiped back at him knocking him to the ground off me. I had blood trickling down my face and I suppose that got me mad. This time I lunged at Tai and began to punch him into a bloody pulp.

"STOP IT!" shouted TK. Hearing TK cries like that I stopped instantly. I glared at Tai then released him from my grasp. As I wiped the blood from my nose, I knew I had to get away from that atmosphere so I slowly walked away from their precious leader. 

Gabumon was at my side as always as I walked away.

"Tai are you alright?" asked Sora worriedly.

"Yeah" he replied as he also wiped the blood. I know he was looking at me as he said that because I could feel his dark eyes glaring daggers into my back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know how long I was walking for but it had been a long time. I was actually starting to wonder if they've noticed that my presence was missing.

"Matt! Don't you think we should get back to the others?" suggested Gabumon.

"I guess" I replied not really interested.

"Matt?" Gabumon said in a concerned voice as we stopped walking. "What is wrong?"

"Nothing" I replied but Gabumon kept pushing at the subject.

"Listen Matt. I'm your digimon. I know when something is bothering you because I can sense it" said Gabumon.

"Well good for you!" I said getting a little annoyed.

"Please Matt?" Gabumon kept on.

"THERE IS NOTHING WRONG! SO CAN YOU PLEASE STOP ASKING ME?" I shouted in pure rage.

"I'm sorry Matt" Gabumon said as he bowed his head in shame.

"No I'm sorry! I shouldn't of shouted at you like that" I apologized.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile I didn't know it but the gang was looking for me and to my surprise, it was actually Taichi's idea for the search.

"Where can he be!?" TK said to no one in particular.

"I don't know TK. But will find him" Patamon replied.

"I sure hope so" TK hoped.

Tai led the team in the search for me but he had pure rage smothered all other his face. He didn't speak to anybody and he started to worry some of the 'so called friends' that I had.

I found the group as Gabumon managed to persuade me to go back. I did not show myself, as I was afraid, that's it afraid at what Tai would do. As I have never seen so much vengeance in his eyes before.

"You ok Tai?" asked Agumon worriedly but he never answered. 

"Tai?"

"WHAT!?" Tai snapped but Agumon kept quiet.

I thought now I should show myself because I knew Tai wasn't going to calm down until I was reunited with the group. Therefore, I walked into clearing when I saw TK's face light up as I came back.

"MATT!" He said happily as he ran up to me for a hug.

"Where you been Matt? I was worried about you" TK said as he released our hug. I was expecting Tai to say something but he never. As I looked up at him, he didn't have that much anger in his eyes anymore. He looked somewhat relieved! Is it that I was safe or just happy because TK was? I just didn't know.

"I just needed to clear my head that's all" I smiled at TK who accepted my answer.

"I was wondering now that we've finally stopped may we rest NOW!" whined Mimi.

Tai just looked at her with an unexpressed face as he put both hands behind his head.

"I suppose so," he said quietly as he went to sit by himself. Everyone at that point just collapsed where they were.

"That is better my feet are hurting me" said Sora as she rubbed her feet.

"Same here" agreed Mimi.

I had also sat a little bit away from the others as you know I'm not the sort of person to mix with anyone. I had my hand in my pocket feeling my trusty harmonica. I was not sure to play or not. I looked at all the others to see what they were doing. Izzy as always was on his laptop, Joe was talking to TK and the digimon, and Mimi and Sora were talking. I looked over at Tai who was lying on the floor with his hands still behind his head. He sat alone like me. I should apologize but I'm not going to do that. As I said before I have my pride to think about.

I decided to play my harmonica after all, as it would get my mind of things. 

"Why does Matt always play depressing songs!?" Mimi said as she closed her hat over her ears.

"Its the way he feels" replied Gabumon as he looked at Matt sadly.

"Well it's making me depressed!" whined Mimi.

"Mimi! Do you always have to complain?" Joe asked.

"No" protested Mimi.

"Yeah sure you don't!" Joe said sarcastically as he smiled.

Mimi just stuck her tongue out at him.

"Mimi" smiled Palmon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We ended up staying where we were for the night. By then, I had moved closer to the group to sleep but I couldn't. I wanted to get up but I never because Tai was guard duty and I didn't fancy talking to him. Therefore, I just lay there staring at the stars above.

Tai still sat away from us; I guess he just need some space. 

"Its a long night" sighed Tai to himself. 

"Why don't you apologize to Matt?" asked Agumon.

"Because he's the one who always starts it and I don't want to talk about it anymore!" Tai snapped a little. "You should get some sleep. You're going to need your strength just in case trouble shows"

"Ok Tai" Agumon agreed as he went and sat with the others.

I heard Tai sigh another time and it was silent after that. I still could not sleep so I decided to sit up. Tai didn't know I was up cause I was sitting behind him.

However, being Tai he felt my presence and immediately turned round.

"Oh it's you," said Tai as he turned back round again. "What are you doing up anyway? It's not even your shift yet".

"I just couldn't sleep" I replied without saying another word. There was a very uncomfortable silence and I'm not surprised. After all, Tai and me are the only ones awake!

Tai turned round again to face me and was about to say something when I noticed something behind him. However, for some reason I just froze up all I could do was stutter and point. By this time, Tai was getting annoyed.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!?" he shouted then there was an evil laughter. I saw Tai's face pale as he slowly turned round to see a shadowy figure coming near.

"Who are you!?" demanded Tai. Because of all the shouting, everyone was awakening.

"Who else would it be?" said the evil but strange voice. I haven't a fuck who it was as there are loads of digimon in the digiworld!

"ANSWER ME!?" shouted Tai he's always stubborn.

"Well no need to be rude child of courage. I am the one and only Myotismon!" he said as he revealed himself.

The digidestined stirred awake and gasped except for me. Remember pride? 

"Digidestined your journey ends here!" Myotismon boasted.

"We see about that!" Tai said as he raised his fist in the air. He is such a show off! "Agumon digivolve!"

"Right…Agumon digivolved to Agumon!?" said a very puzzled looking digimon.

"Your energy levels are to low" pointed out Izzy.

"That's because we haven't eaten in ages!" panicked Joe.

"And I am kinda hungry!" complained Gommamon.

"This is perfect time for hunger pains!" sighed Tai.

"Don't think about food now look who's coming to get us!" shouted Mimi.

"RUN!" shouted Tai.

I did agree with Tai on that one! We all ran for our lives.

"You can run but you can't hide!" Myotismon said rather calmly. Me for that matter I wasn't calm I was…ok I admit it! I was scared! Dead scared!

As we ran I kept TK right by my side to make sure, he would stay safe. Then all of sudden TK fell over! He does have short legs!

"TK!" I shouted as I ran back to him, the others kept running. Bastards!

"Come on! Get up!" I said franticly. Myotismon at that point was standing in front of us. I immediately stepped in front of TK to do my job. Protect him.

"Keep your hands of my brother!" I shouted.

"Why would I want a worthless little boy who can't make his digimon digivolve!? You would be a better prize! Grizzly wing!"

His attack hit me. I cried out in pain as I fell to the hard ground. "YAMATO!" I heard someone call faintly. My vision became a blur. Then it all went black.

TBC

Please review


	4. Bravery

Read me…

Chapter 4: Bravery

Jealousy, Friendship or Love?

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When I opened my eyes lazily. I didn't recognize my surroundings. Where the hell was I? It was all Grey, dark and cold. It soon hit me! 

"I can't fucking believe this!" I said aloud to anybody.

I'm in Myotismon's castle in his fucking dungeon!! I kicked the iron bars in rage and frustration. 

"Grrrr! The others ran off and left me! They never tried to help me! Even TK!" I shouted allowed. I wouldn't think they would anyway. I've just been a pain! Picking fights with Tai all the time and slowing them down. I have never talked to anyone only when I am arguing with them. Nevertheless, I at least thought TK would try to do something. I started to cry. I didn't know why, maybe because I wanted to get out of this dump or there's another reason… I did not care at this moment in time. I just cried my heart out in silent tears. Nobody would see me cry anyway. I guess I needed to let out my sadness. 

I must have been crying for hours. I was now sobbing as I lent against the cold stone wall in the far corner of this retched dungeon. I was sitting in silence when I heard a noise in the distance. Rather like a loud explosion. Then I heard there was a sound of the wall cracking then it exploded! I coughed from all the smoke that surrounded me. Then I saw the outline of someone with a digimon behind him that looked like Greymon. No it cannot be!? He wouldn't risk his life to save a bastard like me! Would he? I was wrong he would. Tai ran up to my cage and rattled the bars.

"Tai it's no use there locked!" I said when Tai punched the metal bars in anger.

"Shit! Wait a minute! I have an idea! Stand back!" Tai ordered which I obeyed. I had no idea what stunt he was going to pull but it better be a good one!

"Greymon! Nova Blast the bars!" Tai ordered.

Great idea! I just hope it doesn't back fire!

"NOVA BLAST!" Greymon said as a massive ball of fire came towards me. In addition, at an instant the bars melted leaving me unharmed. Tai than ran in to grab my arm.

"Come on! No time to loose!" he said as he pulled me out of the cage. We were running as Greymon kept the other digimon at bay from getting us. We managed to get out side with Greymon following shortly behind.

"MATT!" TK cried happily as we reached the gang. I was so glad to see TK. I ran up to him and gave TK the biggest hug.

"Now is not the time for celebrating cause TROUBLES COMING!" shouted Joe in distress. I would not blame him cause Myotismon was coming.

"DIGIVOLVE!" ordered Tai.

Greymon digivolved to MetalGreymon

Gabumon digivolved to Garurumon

Biyomon digivolved to Birdramon

Tentomon digivolved to Kabuterrimon

Gommamon digivolved to Ikkakumon

Palmon digivolved to Togemon 

Patamon digivolved to Angemon

"Hahahaaaa! That won't stop me! Grizzly wing!" laughed Myotismon as his attack hit Togemon and Ikkakumon who de-digivolve back to their rookie forms.

Myotismon gaze then turned to me and I froze on the spot!

"It is your fault that I have to deal with all this trouble!" Myotismon said angrily. "Crimson lightning!" 

I saw the blood red attack coming towards me and still I couldn't move! My mind said run but my legs were not listening! Then someone stepped in the way of his attack. He took the full blast and I was left unharmed again.

"TAICHI!" I cried out as his body fell lifelessly to the ground, which I stood on. Myotismon smiled evilly and then he vanished. I bent down and picked up Tai's limp body in my arms as the others ran over towards us. I looked at his face that was covered in spots of blood and on my own face, I could feel a warm liquid across my pale cheeks. I was crying! Crying for Tai.

Please review!


	5. Whatever!

Don't own Digimon! Anywayz enjoy…

Chapter 5: Whatever

Jealousy, Friendship or love?

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We had made camp in the safety of the forest and Tai was still unconscious. Joe had done a good job at clearing his bloody wounds but he still didn't look so good. His once tanned face was now as pale as my own skin. It is now late at night and I was on night watch. I was sitting by the fire where Tai lay. I stared into the fire thinking. Why? Why did Tai save my no good life? I was not the important member of the team! Tai is! He almost killed himself to save me. ME! 

I felt my eyes beginning to tire but I would not fall asleep on the job! I had to make sure Tai was going to be all right. I wanted to be the first person he saw when he opens his eyes. Nevertheless, if I do that then he will know that I care! That I actually show feelings! Therefore, I must not. The pride thing and all.

It was getting late and I felt myself begin to nod off. However, a movement jolted me awake again. I looked at Tai's body. Na I couldn't have seen him move. I was right. He was moving. I went and sat by his side and looked at his hand twitching. I looked up to his pale face and to my amazement; Tai slowly opened his eyes.

"Tai? Can you hear me?" I whispered as Tai fully opened his eyes. 

"Matt" He said quietly "Are…you…ok?" I couldn't believe it! Here he is lying badly injured and he asked me if I was ok!? 

"Yeah, yeah I am thanks to you" I replied as I smiled. Tai weakly smiled back at me. Tai's face suddenly turned to discomfort and I panicked.

"What's wrong!?" I asked as Tai moaned a little.

"It hurts" he replied.

"What hurts?" I asked worriedly.

"My hole body" he answered in pain.

"Is they're anything I can do to help," I said starting to panic.

"No, don't worry about me" Tai replied trying to act brave.

"Are you sure?" I asked. I am bothered about him you know.

"Why are you caring so much Matt? I thought you hated me! " Said Tai. Oh shit he has noticed. Think I hate him. I hate him! 

"I'm sorry. I still hate you, its just… never mind" I mumbled. Oh Matt wells done you have done it now! Stupid aren't you?! I must get away. I walked away from where Tai lay I didn't want to make a friend and let Tai see me cry. I was interrupted.

"Matt? Have you been crying?" said the noticing, bastard Tai. I didn't turn back to look at him.

"No!" I shouted. I ran a bit further away to do the rest of my night watch. I couldn't help crying now. Of course, Tai had noticed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I found myself somewhere else in the forest when I woken. I suddenly remembered what happened last night. Another stupid thing that I have done! I let my emotions get the better of me and not only that I left Tai by himself when he needed me! BAKA! I am such a baka!

I thought I should get back to camp, as the group will be wondering where I am and TK would be worried. 

I walked into the clearing of camp when I saw everyone acting in a panic. I saw TK crying so I ran over to him.

"MATT!" TK cried as he flung himself into my arms.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"It's Tai!" he replied while still sobbing. "He, he had an attack!"

"What!? An attack?" I looked at him puzzled. As I was talking to TK, Mimi came over to us.

"Tai had a fit" Mimi filled in "While you was off doing your own THING! Tai had a fit and he stopped breathing!" Mimi said sobbing slightly.

I was shocked and ashamed of myself. This is my fault. I should not of left Tai.

"Is he ok?" I asked Mimi.

"What do you think!?" Mimi snapped at me as Sora then came over. However, not with a warm welcome either! She slapped me around the face. I was still in shock as I held my right cheek where she slapped me.

"YOUR SUCH A JERK!" she shouted at me "TAI COULD HAVE DIED! BUT THANKS TO JOE HE IS STILL ALIVE!"

"Look, I'm sorry" I apologized but Sora wasn't having it.

"No that's not good enough! Why did you leave him?" she asked me. My mind went blank. What could I say? I couldn't say the real reason. She would laugh at me. I have to say something quick! 

"I, err…?" Nice going BAKA! Sora then glared at me. She was about to say something when she was interrupted.

"It's…not…his fault!" Sora turned round and I looked to where the voice came from. It was Tai! What is he doing!?

"Tai how can you say that!?" Sora questioned. 

Tai was still lying on the ground still as weak as ever. He coughed slightly before he answered. 

"Cause it was my fault" he replied. I could not believe what he was saying! 

"Tai it is my fault not yours!" I protested. Tai shock his head slightly.

"No it's not, it's not anybody's fault" he said rather tiredly "It's mine for giving up too soon". I walked over to Tai and kneeled down to him.

"What are you saying?" I asked quite concerned.

"I was giving up" he replied weakly. Giving up? What? He means that he wanted to die. I'm confused. I didn't know what to say to him. I just sighed. I put my head in one of my hands. 

"Hey guys just let this drop? Tai is alive that's all that matters right?" explained Joe.

"I guess your right," said Sora.

"I think we have to keep moving" ordered Tai. I think he was trying to change the subject.

"NO! You can't not in your condition," said Izzy.

"Lets stay here at camp, Tai would be able to rest" ordered Joe.

"Yeah okay" I agreed. Agreed? Oh no I'm kinda mixing in with the group!

"I will go and collect some firewood, anyone want to come with?" asked Joe.

"I will!" shouted out Mimi.

"Matt?" Sora whispered in my ear.

"What?" I said coldly.

"Err… I am sorry about me shouting at you! I was just shocked about the state Tai's in" explained Sora.

"Whatever" I muttered.

Sora then walked away and sat with the rest of the group.

I sat myself down where I was standing. I sighed heavily and thought about what Tai just said.

How can he believe he was responsible? It was not his fault. It was mine! I was the one who was going to be hit by Myotismon's attack then Tai stood in front of it! Then I left him on his own when I wondered off during night watch! I'm so fucked up. I punched my fist into the ground.

"Its all my bloody fault" I whispered in between a few punches.

"Shit!" I cursed allowed as I realized how much pain I was causing towards my fist.

"What's wrong Matt?" Tai asked in a number of breaths.

"Huh!? Oh nothing" I muttered. I didn't really want to talk to Tai right now.

"Please tell me Matt" he pleaded.

"Look" I said while getting up and going to sit where he was lying. 

"What?" he asked again.

"I need to ask you something. Tai why did you risk your life to save mine? My life is worthless towards yours. You know that and I know that. So why?" I asked in curiosity.

"Well you see I'm the leader and it's my place to protect others. Besides I couldn't just let you just hit by Myotismon's attack could I?" Tai explained.

"But I thought you hated me?" I said as if in question.

"No. It might always seem that way but really, it isn't. I know deep down inside that you are my friend Matt and I know you are friends with me deep down inside you too" said Tai.

"Oh Tai, I had no idea. I'm so sorry for you getting like this man" I apologized.

"It's not your fault Matt" reassured Tai.

"Yes it is. Don't you get it? Tai listen to me. It is my fault! I know it is. It is my fault that I got trapped in Myotismon's castle in the first place, then you came to rescue me. As we were escaping Myotismon found us again, and it was my fault that you jumped in front of me to block the attack! Its all my fault!" I said getting a little worked up about it. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I tried to blink them away. Nevertheless, a tear escaped. 

"Come on Matt don't start getting upset and cry. Please Matt. This is none of your fault!" Tai protested.

"Yes it is! I will not take no for an answer! I feel so guilty. I care for you Tai you could have died!" I whispered in despair. OH nice going baka now he is going to no you like him. 

"Huh? You actually care for me?" Tai asked in a surprised tone.

"Well, umm, you know as a friend. Right?" I said nervously. I sweat dropped.

"Yeah I suppose" Tai said as if in disappointment.

"What's up Taichi?" I covered up my mouth. Did I just say Taichi? Oh god. What's he going to think now?

"Nothing" he muttered. I sighed in relief of him not noticing that I called him Taichi. Why that bothered me so much I do not know! I am confused totally.

"Err Tai?" I asked nervously. I cannot be his enemy forever so I have to say something.

"Yeah what is it?" Tai asked.

"Well I was wondering if you like wanna be friends or something. However I cannot promise you that the fighting would stop. He he he!" I asked as my hand started to switch.

Tai's face turned into one of those huge grins that go from ear to ear. 

"Would I?" he stated in total amount of happiness. "I feel like jumping for joy!" he shouted.

The entire gang had turned their head towards Tai and I. 

I began to notice Tai's eyes welling up with tears. They were released from those chocolate brown eyes of his. Nevertheless I was pretty sure he wasn't crying in sorrow but in happiness. Happy for our declaration of friendship that had been lost deep inside our hearts for so long but was then found again. Sora came running over to us. She always thinks of the worst.

"Tai what's wrong you in pain?" she said in worry. Yeah that was her problem she is always too protective over Tai. I wonder if she has a thing for him?

"Nothing is wrong Sora. I'm happy!" Tai said still with a smile stretched across his face.

"I don't understand, but you're crying" she whispered.

"Look, I'm crying with happiness because me and Matt our now officially friends!" he exclaimed.

"Oh. I'm so happy for you guys as well!" Sora smiled then hugged both of us at the same time.

"Err Sora sorry to bother the happy moment but you are kinda crushing me to death!" I explained in-between gasps of air. Sora suddenly let go of us both.

Sora flushed with embarrassment. "Sorry about that. He he he!" she laughed nervously.

"No need for an apology" Tai chirped.

"I am so glad that you two have become friends! It makes me so happy!" Sora then smiled at us.

"Don't expect the fights to just go away Tai. I promise you that there will be a few fights in the future!" I joked.

Tai lay back down and ignored my joke. "If you don't mind guys I'm kinda sleepy so if you can leave me in peace to rest. I will be grateful," said Tai with a yawn.

"Yeah whatever!" I muttered.

TBC


	6. The Truth

Finally the last chapter! I actually finished it!! Can't believe it!! * Falls off chair * 

Chapter 6: The Truth

Jealousy, Friendship or Love?

It was early morning and the sun was shining brightly where I stood. Everyone was sleeping peacefully beside the fire but unfortunately I wasn't. I can never get enough sleep anymore there is always something else on my mind to think about.

I am glad I am not distancing myself from anyone anymore and always being by myself. I used to be a loner, however I am beginning to trust people so they are now my friends.

I feel much better now, I can be happy and full of laughter instead of what I had a few years back misery and gloom.

All of a sudden I then heard some groaning and rustling. I turned around to look at the camp.

To my surprise Tai was limping over towards me.

"Tai your not meant to be walking!" I stated with worry. I ran over to him to help.

"Well you know I don't like to look weak" he commented.

"But Tai" I protested.

"No buts I am not going to receive any of your concern" argued back Tai.

I sighed in defeat and went and sat down where I stood. Tai did the same.

"So what brings you up early in the morning?" I questioned.

"I should be asking the same thing to you" teased Tai.

"Yeah well you know the normal reason" I mumbled.

"No I don't," he said.

I sighed. I do a lot of that lately.

"Cannot sleep" I answered quietly.

"The same reason I'm sitting here too" agreed Tai.

"It is so weird talking to you Tai, because I used to be your enemy" I concept out loud.

"No you wasn't you were just my rival" Tai corrected.

"Whatever" I muttered.

I looked out into the forest the scene was so ample. The sunrays pointed down on the top of the tall trees. It was as if the trees were sparkling from the rain droplets that fell the night before. 

Then there came the entrance of the forest so dark so gloomy as if you entered it would swallow you up whole.

That was what I imagined the darkness in my heart was like that I carried about with me for so long. Nevertheless that has all been lifted.

For all those years it felt like there was a heavy weight hanging above my head wherever I would go and wondering when it will drop onto me from my insecurity.

After I then made friends with Tai it felt like that heavyweight dropped but instantly turned into feathers.

"Matt?" replied Tai. My thoughts were then not recalled. 

"Yeah Tai?" I asked.

"Are you all right?" he interrogated.

"Of course. Why shouldn't I be?" I said quickly.

"Hmm I don't think so" he muttered under his breath. However, I still heard him from how close he was.

I realized right there, how close he was sitting next to me. So close Tai was almost sitting in my lap. I became uncomfortable.

I could feel his hot tanned arm against my pale one.

My stomach felt comparable to a swarm of butterflies fluttering around and at the same time as if it was also doing summersaults.

"Tai I am going for a walk be back later!" I said a little fast and nervously.

"Don't go" protested Tai. I stood up quickly. Tai went to grab my arm but missed and brushed past my hand.

That's it I am definitely going!

I broke out into a rapid pace, into the gloomy forest. I faintly heard Tai groan with disappointment, however I did not take any notice.

I had to get away but then it hit me.

I stopped in my tracks in the middle of the forest surrounded by tall trees, triple my height.

My palms became sweaty and I shiver traveled down my spine.

"No! It ain't true!" I shouted to myself.

I ran deeper into the forest, the more I ran the deeper I got into the forest. I felt insecure and ashamed. Of course I was full of sadness too.

Tears trickled down my face as if it was a stream flowing into the sea. I wiped my eyes from time to time. However there was no need as when I wipe the tears away thousands more appeared.

Ahead of me I spotted a cave, a good place to hide from reality. A place that wouldn't remind of what I discovered within me.

The thing I found out was that Tai was not my friend but the boy I was in love with.

I ran into the cave and sat on the cold floor, hiding in the shadows.

Unfortunately my mind wouldn't focus on anything else but Tai.

I couldn't stand it! Everywhere I will go I will be carrying that feeling around with me.

I felt literally sick.

HOW CAN I BE GAY? IT ISN'T FAIR! 

I feel so ashamed of myself at that fact.

It all became clear now, the hatred, the fighting, and the jealousy. It all led to one thing, love. Why didn't I see this before? It was so simple to find out!

The hatred was the fact I didn't want him to know I liked him, cared for him and the way I felt for him.

The fighting was the only way I could get close to him, to touch him.

The jealousy was of the friendship the others had with him they were so close, if only I shared that too.

However I can now do that. As he is my friend now after all. 

I sat in the dark, cold, chilly cave sobbing like a blubbering baby that couldn't get there own way.

It is pathetic really, if you think about it. It's just me feeling sorry for myself. I might as well cry myself to sleep.

I curled up and hugged my knees, and tried to drift off into dreamland.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I slowly opened my eyes, my vision were blurred but soon went back to normal. I became face to face with the cave wall.

"Oh shit!" I cursed.

I got up quickly and decided to head back towards camp. They should still be there to let Tai rest. They must be wondering where I am!

I started to run towards the direction I came from, I looked behind me to see how far I was away from the cave, but then I slammed right into something. 

I turned around to see what I knocked onto the ground to see Joe.

"Uh umm sorry Joe" I apologized.

"Huh? Oh Matt its you we have been looking for you for ages now!" stated Joe while getting up.

"Have you? I thought you would give up doing that I am always wondering off places" I explained.

"Well you know. Lets head back to camp, unless you don't want to" said Joe.

"Yeah its fine with me" I agreed.

It wasn't long until we saw the clearing of our camp.

Joe and I rustled through the bushes and all the gang turned to look in our direction.

"Way a go Joe! You found him!" praised Tai.

"Well it wasn't the matter of me finding him, it was Matt finding me!" explained Joe.

We walked towards them and sat by the fire that they rested around.

Tai motioned me to sit next to him, so I did so.

"I was worried for a second you wasn't coming back!" he replied with a smile.

"Yeah well you know me" I muttered returning him one back.

"I am glad you did!" Tai confirmed, While putting his hand on my forearm but immediately removed it again, "Whoa! You're cold! Its like you have been in a freezer for years!"

"What do you expect, I fell asleep in a cave" I clarified.

"Okay. Why the hell did you do that?" questioned Tai.

"Well I ran into a cave, laid on the floor, closed my eyes and fell asleep, because I was tired, duh!" I established sarcastically.

"Never mind" mumbled Tai.

It fell silent between Tai and I. Instead I listened to what the others were talking about.

Joe was talking to Izzy about something, I couldn't hear as he was whispering in his ear, so I ignored them.

Sora and Mimi were talking about fashion and TK was listening to them and joining in! I did not want to join that conversation!

The only one who wasn't talking was Tai and I! 

I feel uncomfortable around him, at the fact I discovered my feelings for him.

Oh damn it Matt! Stop thinking about Taichi!

We must have been sitting here in silence for about 3 minutes now. Tai then suddenly laid back which caused a loud thud on the ground that made me jump. Tai then laughed at me. 

"What's funny?" I questioned.

"That I made you jump and the look on your face was so hilarious!!" Tai smiled at me and laughed still.

"Aha, very funny!" I said sarcastically. By this point everyone was looking at Tai and me. Probably wondering why on earth Tai was rolling around in fits!

"What's Tai laughing at?" asked TK.

Just because he made me jump he thinks it's the most funniest thing in the world!" I replied. Tai calmed down a little.

"Hehe! I couldn't help it! The look on Matt's face!!" Tai burst out laughing again. I couldn't help it but chuckle at him. This had been a long time since I've seen Tai so happy. 

"Enough is enough now, Tai" I tried calming him down. Which seem to work. He chuckled then just smiled widely at me. I smiled back.

"Guys" Tai called to everyone to get their attention.

"Matt and I are going to get some more firewood!" Tai announced as he got up.

Whoa? Tai then grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up to my feet. What? There was plenty of wood there! We didn't need anymore!

The gang gave knowing glances at each other and then smiled at Tai and I.

I laughed nervously and then was dragged into the forest.

"What's this about Tai? There is plenty of wood there to last us a day!" I confronted.

"I know let's just go into the forest deeper, there is something bothering me that I have to ask you" replied Tai with a worrying glance. He grabbed my arm again and picked up the pace. 

Finally Tai stopped at tree and plunked himself down and taken me down with him.

"So?" I simply stated waiting for an explanation.

"You know when we first met…" Tai began.

I looked into his eyes to see what he was going to say next. I knew it was something bad.

"Yeah" I coaxed trying to get him to tell me, straight off.

"And you had all those cuts and bruises…" he stated.

I sweat dropped. Oh god not this again!

"Yeah what about them?" I queried with a building up of tension in my voice.

"Well when I saw the ones on your stomach after we stopped fighting, I noticed a big scar running from you ribs down to your navel… and I am concerned on how you got them all…" replied Tai wearily. His eyes began to shake slightly and I knew he was really upset. So I gave up and decided to tell Tai.

"It was my dad, when I was young, he… he got really mad at me once as I tried to run away to find TK… my father wouldn't let me see him and when he realized I had gone, he got into his car to get me. And then… and then that's when he tried to… to… run me over…" I explained. 

I burst into tears and I dived into Tai's arms for comfort. 

He put his hands through my hair and whispered soothing words to say it was okay. I pressed against his chest hugging him he hugged me back.

"I'm sorry Matt for bringing it up, really I am" Tai apologized.

"But that was only the beginning, that is how I got my scar…" I sobbed. "Then he said I should go to summer camp and I refused he got mad again…" 

More tears fled from my eyes and I tried to wipe them away. However, as hard as I tried, ten thousand new ones appeared.

"I'm so sorry…" Tai atoned.

I ignored Tai's apologies. I didn't know I was telling Tai all this, but I felt much better getting some of my past off my chest.

"Matt? Was that why you didn't want to make friends in case they harmed you too?"

"Yes, if I figured my family didn't want me then nobody would…" I said my voice full of emotion. 

Tai looked at me sadly. 

"Matt, Of course your family wants you, and me included, so don't think bad about it. I mean look at TK, considering how you don't see each other so often he was so happy to see you and BE with you" gratified Tai. "And I have once been in a situation like you" 

I looked up at Tai surprised. Tai smiled slightly. 

"You see this black arm brace?" he said while pointing at his arm. I just nodded. 

"I don't wear it because of a soccer injury, in fact the reason why I wear it is that because that part of my arm is really weak and scarred. My dad also done that to me…" Tai trailed off.

I gasped. "Tai…"

"He did to me when Kari nearly died, I deserved it really. I nearly killed her I was about seven or eight. I wanted to play soccer with my friends but I couldn't leave Kari on her own sick, so I took her outside with me. She collapsed and got pneumonia or something that's when my dad did this to me" explained Tai.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing it was like my ears were playing a trick on me.

"I had no idea" I replied as I got up, away from his grasp.

Tai put his head down low.

A tear fell onto the ground it was obvious he was crying.

I crawled closer to him and held his chin up.

"Tai don't cry, you didn't know your sister was really ill. You were young" I comforted wiping away the tears from his eyes.

Tai looked at me; we gazed at each other for a few moments.

Tai cared about me. I knew that from such certainty and yet I have never felt it from anybody before. So much love in those huge brown eyes and all directed at me.

My mother didn't love me, but Tai certainly could.

And I needed to feel loved, always have done. I guess that is why I leaned towards him and kissed him gently on the lips. So sweet, even above the saltiness of my tears I could taste the very essence of that sweet boy.

Yet as my tongue flickered out to beg entrance into that sweetness he pulled away from me. I'd done it again. Less than a minute making contact to other people, I was pushing someone else away from me.

"I'm sorry." I lowered my eyes, not wanting to see the hate that would now be clearly visible on his face.

"Why? Because you kissed me Matt? Don't you think I wanted you to kiss me?"

I was shocked. I didn't expect that answer. My voice has deserted me but I found myself nodding my head weakly.

"You don't have to be sorry, I've always wanted to kiss you… In fact I have been in love with you for quite a while now. I just didn't know how you would of reacted…" admitted Tai.

I was dumbstruck. Did Tai really mean that? Or was he just saying that to make me feel better for making myself act like a complete idiot?

Tai must of seen the doubt in my eyes, he lifted my chin up so I looked into his eyes.

"And I'm not just saying that, You got to believe me Matt." Reassured Tai and he moved closer to kiss me again. I soon responded as he touched my lips. 

I knew I was in doubt and loneliness for a long time now. However, now I know I am not alone anymore. I am finally loved again.

What a fool I must have been to be so blind of someone wanting me.


End file.
